Phone: 716.218.8224
RESOURCES
So much of the work that I do is influenced by others. Here are just a few that I have found particularly helpful.
I am glad to share them with you.
How can you tell if your marriage is in trouble, and what can you do to prevent breakup? Relationship expert Sue Johnson identifies warning signs in a marriage and what you can do to prevent issues from destroying your relationship.
For many of my clients, the question that they most want answered is in regards to healing in the aftermath of an affair. On March 19, 2015 Esther Perel delivered a TEDTalk about affairs. This video is an expansion of that talk, creating a deeper conversation regarding some of the necessary steps for both partners in creating healing.
What is the best way to ease someone’s pain and suffering? In this beautifully animated RSA Short, Dr Brené Brown reminds us that we can only create a genuine empathic connection if we are brave enough to really get in touch with our own fragilities.
Wondering if you have depression? And how to deal with it? This video from the World Health Organization can provide some answers. At its worst, depression can be a frightening, debilitating condition. Millions of people around the world live with depression. Many of these individuals and their families are afraid to talk about their struggles, and don’t know where to turn for help. However, depression is largely preventable and treatable. Recognizing depression and seeking help is the first and most critical step towards recovery.
MINDFULNESS
Meditation Apps
This is my favorite, all around great meditation app. It is free with the option to upgrade to a membership level. There are so many wonderful teachers and options here to grow your practice. In the membership level, you also have access to courses on a variety of subjects.
This was my first meditation app that I ever used. I think I did the free trial, then paid for a few months as I was getting a lot out of the teaching style.
Very similar to Headspace – personal preference as to which you might enjoy better.
This one is a bit different, in that it sprang from a book written by Dan Harris, also called Ten Percent Happier. On this website, you will find links to podcasts, a newsletter and also a free trial for their app. It has changed a lot since I first tried it – and I loved it then.
Another Fun Mindfulness Resource
Mindfulness can be approached in many different ways. This website offers mindful lettering workbooks where you get to play with learning lettering styles while writing/drawing affirmations. I have found it a great way to give my mind a break and also learn something new.
BOOKSHELF
Dance of Fear by Harriet Lerner, PhD
I love this book. Using gentleness and humor, the author really captures what it feels like to experience fear and anxiety in your life. She gives examples from her personal life and her clinical work on how anxiety and fear show up and take over. Through these examples she shows how she and her clients learned to respond to these feelings in brave new ways. Her book is a strong reminder that anxiety and fear are not permanent conditions. My own clients have commented that it was “nice to hear that other people feel this way” and “I liked knowing that other people have learned to do something different with their fear.” If you struggle with anxiety, fear or shame, I highly recommend this book. Bring it to session with you, and we can walk through it together
After the Affair by Janis Abrahms Springs
For any couple who has experienced the devastation of an affair, this book brings wisdom and insight into what is happening emotionally for each partner. The author explores choices such as “should I stay or should I leave” and gives thoughtful and practical information for couples who decide to work on repairing and rebuilding trust. Couples who have read this book have commented that it really helped normalize the experience for them.
Bring Yourself to Love by Mona Barbera, PH. D.
“Bring Yourself to Love offers a wealth of practical advice and exercise you can apply right away – easy techniques to help you mend relationships not only with your spouse/partner, but also with friends and family members.” I often ask couples to read this book together and then bring their insights and their questions into their session to increase the effectiveness of Couples Therapy.
Wired for Love by Stan Tatkin, PsyD
“Wired for Love is a complete insider’s guide to understanding your partner’s brain and enjoying a romantic relationship built on love and trust.” Stan Tatkin provides simple language to help couples understand their own basic attachment styles as well as that of their partner. Understanding the strengths and challenges of each style can help couples create the secure relationships they have been longing for. I will often ask couples to read this book together as a part of our work, to provide a knowledge base for creating change.
Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson, PhD
“Dr. Johnson teaches that the way to enhance or save a relationship is to be open, attuned, and responsive to each other and to reestablish emotional connection.” This book was written to allow couples to engage in conversations that will help them create change. Couples who have read this book have said things like “it was helpful (and a little scary) to see myself and my partner in that book. It could have been written just about us.”
1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 by Thomas W. Phelan, PhD
“With humor, sharp insight and proven experience, Dr. Phelan breaks down the task of parenting into three straightforward jobs: Controlling Obnoxious Behavior, Encouraging Good Behavior, and Strengthening Your Relationships.” I often recommend this book to parents who are struggling with their own emotionality in disciplining their children. Comments I have heard are that this is an easy to follow, down to earth approach to parenting.